[EMMA watches PINOCCHIO and HENRY playing. She picks up HENRY's story book and flips through it. She gets to PINOCCHIO's story. Her eyes widen.]

  • EMMA: Wait... how the fuck did August know Henry had this book? Shit, did he write it? What--
  • [EMMA looks up from the book at young PINOCCHIO.]
  • EMMA: Shit. That seems important somehow. Guess I'll never know now that he's forgotten everything. Oh well.

Seems Legit

  • EMMA (to Hansel and Gretel): You know, instead of putting you in a foster system where at least anyone who wants to adopt you goes through rigorous background checks and screenings, I found your biological father. I don't know anything about him, but he shares DNA with you anyway so he's probably the best suited guardian for you guys.

Frankenstein - He's Only Got Eyes for Dead Bodies

  • FRANKENSTEIN (inner monologue): I'm a mad scientist who totally reanimated an entire human body but I'm not even gonna *try* with this arm thing. Man, re-attaching my arm is impossible. Just, not even gonna bother. Better swallow all my convictions and pride and make a deal with Rumplestiltskin.

[anytime there's bullshit danger magic goin' down in the 'brooke.]

  • SNOW: You know, the Blue Fairy is more powerful than Rumplestiltskin. We should probably just call her in to handle this. She'll be here in like two seconds.
  • [No one calls Blue Fairy to handle danger ever]

The Most Accepting Girlfriend *Ever*

  • BELLE: So, you killed your wife?
  • RUMPLESTILTSKIN: Yep.
  • BELLE: Okay.

Happy Endings

  • HAPPY: Hey Grumpy, now that the curse is lifted you should talk to Nova!
  • GRUMPY: Nah.
  • HAPPY: But, wasn't she like your true love?
  • GRUMPY: Whatever.

[HOOK and EMMA are sword fighting while CORA is staring at SNOW with murderous intent.]

  • CORA (inner monologue): You know, I could just zap Snow and these other bozos into a pit or catch them on fire but that'd be too easy.

[EMMA watches PINOCCHIO and HENRY playing. She picks up HENRY's story book and flips through it. She gets to PINOCCHIO's story. Her eyes widen.]

  • EMMA: Wait... how the fuck did August know Henry had this book?
  • [EMMA looks back up from the book to stare at PINOCCHIO.]
  • EMMA: Well, shit. That seems important somehow. I guess I'll never know now.

Teacher of the Year

  • CHARMING: So, how are the kids?
  • SNOW: The kids?
  • CHARMING: Your class. How are your students doing--
  • SNOW: Oh god! I forgot! I haven't been to class in weeks!
  • CHARMING: Well, I mean, you've been really busy and--
  • SNOW: No, I mean I just... forgot all about them!
  • CHARMING: Oh... well, I'm sure they got a substitute.

[HENRY sits at the counter]

  • HENRY: So, what happened to the newspaper?
  • EMMA: The what?
  • HENRY: The newspaper. The Storybrooke Mirror?
  • EMMA: That Sidney guy admitted to framing your grandma, remember?
  • HENRY: Yeah, but you know that was Regina now, not Sidney, right?
  • EMMA: ....
  • HENRY: So where did he go?
  • EMMA & HENRY: ......
  • EMMA & HENRY: OH WELL!
  • EMMA: Hey, want to get tacos?